Ann + Co.

How to honour the Weddings that will never be

Three flower girls in dresses holding baskets of flower petals at a wedding. This image portrays children taking part in a wedding, to depict their absence in weddings that will never be.
It’s my job to post happy things about Weddings

Last week, I made an Instagram post with the intention to share tips on how to make wedding planning FUN (again). However, I don’t believe that now is the appropriate time to do so. I’ve been back and forth on the idea about telling you why, and have finally come to the conclusion that I need you to know I also care about the weddings that will never be.

What about the weddings that will never be?

It’ s no secret that the world is in turmoil, and truthfully it’s a scary time to be alive. As much as it lights me up to celebrate love, I also can’t just sit back and ignore the fact that many lives are being lost while I get to write this blog post. As I sat in reflection, watched videos, listened to the news, and had discussions with my partner over the weekend, I couldn’t help and think about the Weddings that will never be: the children that will never know what it’s like to hold hands and fall in love, and the parents that will never walk them down the aisle.

I don’t know everything about what’s going on, and yet, the information I do have has enveloped me in despair. I can’t even imagine how painful, helpless and hopeless it must be for those actually experiencing the bombs, the guns, the bloodbath, and the aftermath of death. It saddens me that this is the world we live in. It’s heartbreaking and gut-wrenching. Shame on those who have the power to do something, yet choose to stand by and do nothing. What good are the systems we have in place if the leaders we have within them are complicit to murder? They have failed us. And the only solution I can think of is to not fail each other.

What can we do?

I don’t have the power to stop what’s going on. What I can do is hold space for these weddings that will never be, and the dreams that won’t come true. I’m taking the time to honour the children that have had to drag their parents’ bodies from the rubble, and the parents who cling on to all the what-could-have-beens of the future their children no longer have.

I hope you can find it in yourself to be kind today. And I hope your action encourages others to do the same. Accept the hug your children want to give you, and read them one more bedtime story. Call your parents and bring up a topic they’ll talk your ear off about, just so you can linger in conversation. Let your dog show you love, and take the longer way home during your walk. Go on that coffee date with your friend, and support them in the way you know how. Take the time to genuinely listen to your partner talk about AI or Taylor Swift. Let’s not fail each other, and let’s not hate on each other. The lives lost no longer have the luxury of time to dream, to play, to communicate, and just be. We do. Let’s take some time to hold space for them.

If, for a moment, you can hold space with me, ask yourself these questions:
  • Am I taking the time to learn more about what is happening?
  • Do I have thoughts that I wish to express, yet don’t know how?
  • What steps can I take to help myself and others process this?
  • How can we collectively help those in need?
  • Are there any resources that I can share with others?

To conclude, I am open to conversation. I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas. Comment below, share it with others, and open the dialogue. Thank you for reading my first heart-to-heart blog post. There’s definitely more to come. In the meantime, if you came here to read about wedding planning, you can start here.

Take care and be kind to yourself,

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